That'll Teach 'Em

A fellow coworker just sent this to me, and I found it rather amusing. Enjoy...

According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Every night the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.

Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror. There are teachers, and then, there are educators.

2nd Time Around

Went ice skating outdoors last night for only the second time in my life. And it definitely when much better than my first time around...

When I went ice skating for the first time, I rented skates. However, I showed up late to the indoor ice rink, and as they were about to close up the rental shop, I asked the rental lady to give me a size 9. Well, I think she was a bit pissed off because she wanted to go, so she gave me some figure skates. Stupid toe pick.

Yesterday, my buddy let me borrow his extra pair of hockey skates. Minus the width and pain of a tight right boot, I was able to manage only a dozen falls. I considered it a successful night out on the ice, especially for a second-time skater born without equilibrium. I really should buy a pair skates living here in Minnesota because they have a bunch of outdoor ice rinks where you can skate for free. I like FREE.

Let Me Wear My Hat

Went to the Michigan State Spartans vs. Minnesota Golden Gophers basketball game yesterday afternoon. The Gophers may have the worst cheer in the history of college sports. It starts of fine with them spelling each letter of M-i-n-n-e-s-o-t-a. But when that's through, it is as if it pains ever fan to chant "Minnesota" three times afterwards. If you want to know what it can be compared to, just shoot a dog in the butt and listen to it howl in pain.

Well, the Spartans went on to win the game. Thank goodness because I went up to the Cities with a bunch of MSU alumni, and it wouldn't have been a fun night out if they were all pissed off.
So, we went off to the usual Lonetree/Annex bar in the Cities because they serve cheap drinks in their power hour. Personally, I'm not a big fan of the place. Yes, it has cheap drinks but I'm not as fond of the atmosphere as my friends are. And to make me hate that place even more... Since it was a frigid night in Minnesota, I decide to wear a beanie cap out to the bar which was stylish and functional for the weather. Well, the idiot bouncers there said it was policy for me not to wear it inside. What a joke. How is a hat going to harm anyone? What makes me mad is that a bunch of other guys were wearing baseball caps, and they were not forced to remove them. Great policy, jerks.

They Shoot, They Don't Score

Joined a winter indoor soccer league this year. However, it's technically not indoors. We play at the infamous Rochester Golf Dome. It's more like a huge hard plastic tarp to block out wind more than anything, but it's a lousy insulator. So, whatever the temperature is outside, it's pretty much the same inside too. With a below-zero temperature last night, you can only imagine the wonderful playing conditions.

The good news though is that our team improved our record to 3-0 with a 3-1 win last night. I was goalkeeper. And the funny thing is that our team ended up scoring ALL the goals last night. I had two one-on-one saves, one guy sweep kick me in the right shin, and another guy almost donkey-kick me in the family jewels.

Thanks goodness for that outdoor broomball game that I have tonight.

Blocked Again

What is it with me and this town? I got blocked again this weekend. But on the plus side, I didn't get blocked by my own friends this time.

I started off last Saturday by playing poker at my friend's house, Josh aka Dett Money. It turned out to be Josh's birthday too, so he planned to have a bunch of people over after poker. In preparation, he bought a keg for both occasions. Well, I proceed to win $100 after a few hours of poker as well as having my fair share of beer. When the party finally got started, Josh's girlfriend showed up with 3 other girls. One of them just kept on smiling at me anytime I said something. But oddly enough, she had a familiar looking face, however I couldn't quite figure out where I have seen her before. When we finally introduced ourselves, she said she recognized me from soccer. And that's when the light bulb turned on. We talked for 10 minutes before one of her friend's wanted to go to a bar. Oh well, so much for my window of opportunity. At least that's what I thought...

About an hour later we head off to a different bar. Turns out Josh's girlfriend picked up the girl from the party, and met us at the bar the rest of us went to. And soon enough we were talking again for most of time we were there. Well, to make a long story short... At the end of the night, I only walked away with a name and no phone number. Because her friend's unintentionally blocked by offering her a ride home at the last minute, while we were both sitting in Josh's girlfriend's car waiting to drive other people back to Josh's. And as we went separate ways, Josh gave me the What Happened? look, and returned with the I Have No Idea shoulder shrug.

Very funny, Rochester, very funny.

All Choked Up

Saw Finding Neverland last night. Wowzers, there was definitely a shortage of Kleenex in the theatre. What a great movie, if you like tear-jerkers. On a lighter note, the boy who played Michael certainly cracked me up. He was probably the worst child actor I've ever seen, but his delivery of his lines was so bad it didn't matter because he was only 4. It was like his Mom was trying to feed him lines off camera. Hilarious.

Definitely, the best movie I've seen this year. Then again, it's only been 2 weeks into the New Year.

The Sports Frustration Continues

Arrghh!!! I hate you, Seahawks. Thanks for giving fans of Seattle hope except when you play the stinking Rams. Here's a word of advice, Mr. Defensive Coordinator, "Zone defense is the worst call in 3rd and long. Pressure the QB!" You are just setting up the secondary to get burned if you let the QB have all day to throw. And Darrell Jackson, please grow a pair of hands so that you can eventually catch a ball when it thrown to you. But most of my blame lies with Mike Holmgren. I'm sorry, Coach, but you've had 6 years to turn our franchise around, and what do you have to show for it. That's right, ZERO postseason wins. As the Donald should say to you, "You're Fired!"

And thank you Huskies for also laying an egg. Just when I thought the weekend couldn't get any worse, they go ahead and blow a 10-point halftime lead to the lowly Bruins and proceed to lose by 9.

Thank you, Seattle, for making me a prisoner of your sporting franchises.

The Spartans Are Back

The Struggletown Spartans are 1-0 on the 2005 Broomball season. Pulled out a victory in sudden death OT to win 2-1. The OT was 4 on 4 with no goalies, and it took over 10 minutes to settle the game. But I felt more joy when the game was finally over, because it was a frigid day outside. We played in just above zero-degree weather. It's going to be a long and cold season.